Bring the Sexy Back into Your Relationship This Valentine’s Day

Dr. Alessandro Metta

Dr. Alessandro Metta

Doctoral Clinician

A Therapist’s Guide to Rekindling Passion, Romance, and Desire

What makes a relationship passionate and romantic, not just on Valentine’s Day but all throughout the year?

Is it romance? Wining and dining? Writing poetry or serenading with love songs?

These things may be great, but quickly dull over time. So, what DOES spark passion and desire between a couple long-term?

Showing love through cherishing acts.

This involves a touch of intimacy, a sprinkle of spontaneity, and a generous dose of genuine care. When done consistently, we spark a deeper connection that drives desire and passion beyond any rom-com or Hallmark movie.

Here are some tips to get you started:

  1. Communication: Kindling the Flame through Expressive Connection

The first step to rekindling passion is through communication that sparks a deeper connection. Express your feelings of love and appreciation for your partner on a regular basis. Dive into the intricacies of what makes them special, and see how they glow from this.

Equally vital is active listening, creating an intimate space where desires are heard and reciprocated.

  1. Quality Time: Date Nights and Intimate Retreats

Elevate your connection by prioritizing quality time. Plan special date nights—whether it’s a cozy dinner, a weekend retreat, or a simple picnic.

Unplug from the outside world. Turn off all devices to allow your focus to be solely on each other. Quality time serves as the catalyst for intimacy, setting the stage for a more passionate connection.

  1. Affection: The Language of Emotional Connection

Fuel the flames of desire through tender affection and physical touch. Embrace your partner with heartfelt hugs, lingering kisses, and gestures that communicate a deep emotional connection.

Compliments amplify the tenderness, letting your partner know you find them attractive and appreciate their qualities.

  1. Shared Goals: Fusion of Aspirations for a Cherished Connection

Intensify your bond by delving into shared goals that extend beyond the everyday. Discuss the future with an emphasis on your dreams, goals, and aspirations.

Collaborate on plans and shared goals that fuel your connection, creating a sense of partnership that extends mutual support.

  1. Openness and Honesty: Unveiling Desires with Transparency

Build emotional trust through openness and honesty. Express your deepest desires and encourage your partner to do the same.

Positive conflict resolution becomes a tool for deeper understanding, fostering an environment where desires can be openly explored without judgment.

  1. Appreciation: Cultivating Desire through Gratitude

Desire flourishes in an atmosphere of appreciation. Regularly express gratitude for the cherished moments your partner creates.

Celebrate each other’s achievements, no matter how small, creating a positive and affirming ambiance for the desire to flourish.

  1. Surprises: Thoughtful Gifts and Heartfelt Gestures

Infuse spontaneity into your relationship with thoughtful gifts and heartfelt gestures. It’s not about the grandeur but the sincere sentiment behind the gesture. It could be a thoughtful note, preparation of their favourite meal, or a surprise outing that can reignite the flame, making your love story more cherished than ever.


Remember, the key to a passionate and enduring relationship is consistently making your partner feel desired, valued, and understood. While Valentine’s Day serves as a reminder, let’s commit to cultivating a connection that transcends the romantic holiday.

We are Here for You!

If you’re yearning to forge a deeper, more passionate connection with your partner, contact the team at Brentwood Counselling Centre today! Any day is a good day to seize the moment, to embark on a journey toward a more cherished and fulfilling relations

Man holding a woman up in his arms at a beach in a romantic way. Rekindling Passion, Romance, and Desire.

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