Leah (Yaxun) Liu
Registered Clinical Counsellor #17641
As a clinical counsellor, I sit with many people who feel untethered. They tell me things like: “It feels like my brain is a web browser with 40 tabs open, and one of them is playing loud, aggressive music, but I can’t find it.” “I know I’m safe sitting on my couch, but my body is acting like I’m about to be chased by a bear.” “I feel like I’m underwater. I can see everyone moving at normal speed, but I’m just floating in slow motion.” “I just want the noise to stop.” If any of that resonates with you, you know exactly what it feels like to be dysregulated. Your nervous system, that incredible, ancient operating system designed to keep you alive, has essentially pulled the fire alarm. The problem is, sometimes the alarm keeps blaring long after the toast is done burning.
You’ve probably heard of “grounding exercises” before. Maybe you’ve even tried them. Usually, they sound like a to-do list for your senses: Name 5 things you see. 4 things you can touch. 3 things you hear… And while that is a fantastic technique, I want to offer a slightly different perspective today. One that might take the pressure off “fixing” your anxiety, and instead invites you to simply come home. The Perspective Shift: From “Fighting” to “Returning”
When we are anxious or triggered, we are often living in our heads—specifically, in the past (ruminating on what went wrong) or in the future (catastrophizing what might happen). Your body, however, is always living in the present moment. It’s right here. Grounding isn’t just a trick to stop a panic attack. It is the gentle act of moving out of the noisy, chaotic boardroom of your mind and taking the elevator down to the lobby of your body. It is the process of proving to your brain that you are here, now, and not “there” in the memory or the fear. When you feel the impulse to escape your skin, grounding is the practice of settling back into it.
Here are three exercises that approach this idea from a slightly different angle. Think of them less as “hacks” and more as “homecomings.”
1. The “Anchor Object” (A Shift from Abstract to Tangible)
Instead of scanning the whole room (which can sometimes feel overwhelming), pick one object near you. It could be a coffee mug, the hem of your shirt, or a key.
Now, become a complete expert on that object. Describe it to yourself like you’re an alien seeing human texture for the first time.
- Notice the temperature of the ceramic.
- Trace the stitching on the fabric with your thumb.
- Look at the way the light hits the metal.
The Insight: Anxiety is abstract. It’s a fog of “what ifs.” By focusing intensely on something tangible, you are forcing your brain to switch from abstract thinking (which fuels anxiety) to concrete sensing (which fuels calm). You are proving that the tangible, solid world still exists amidst the fog.
2. The “Lemon” Visualization (A Shift from Thought to Sensation)
Close your eyes and imagine I just placed a freshly cut lemon in your hand. Feel the slight tackiness of the rind. Now, bring it to your nose. Smell that sharp, citrusy scent. Now, take a bite. Really let the juice flood your mouth.
Did you salivate? Most people do. Your brain heard the description of a lemon and told your body to prepare for sourness, even though there is no lemon here.
The Insight: This proves a powerful truth: Your body believes what your mind tells it. If your body reacts to an imaginary lemon, it absolutely reacts to imaginary worries. Use this knowledge with compassion. When you feel the physical sensations of anxiety, you can say to yourself, “Ah, my body is reacting to a story my mind is telling. Let me come back to the room where there is no lemon.”
3. The “Heavy Body” Check-In (A Shift from Flight to Gravity)
When we’re anxious, our bodies prepare for action. Muscles tense, shoulders creep up toward ears, and we feel light, jittery, or buzzy, ready to run. Let’s do the opposite.
Sit comfortably. Close your eyes if you’re able. Instead of looking for sensations, create the sensation of weight.
- Push your feet firmly into the floor. Feel the pressure.
- Press your forearms or hands down into your lap or the arms of the chair.
- Now, notice the weight of your body being fully supported by the chair or the couch. Imagine the chair is holding you completely, so you don’t have to.
The Insight: Anxiety wants you to flee. Gravity wants you to stay. By intentionally pushing down and surrendering your weight, you are physically telling your nervous system, “I am not running. I am stopping here. I am safe enough to be heavy.” It interrupts the “flight” response by anchoring you to the earth.
A Final Thought for Your Journey
Your nervous system isn’t broken for sounding the alarm. It’s doing its job. It’s just stuck in a loop.
Grounding isn’t about punishing your body for being anxious or forcing it to be quiet. It’s about gently reminding it, through sensation and presence, that you are here, you are safe, and for this moment, you are home.
Be patient with yourself. Coming home after a long day of anxiety is a practice, not a perfection.
Book a free 15-minute phone consultation with us today to come home with yourself. We offer in-person and online counselling services at Brentwood, Burnaby.